I’ve decided to copy the message I sent to Leonore, she introduced me to misophonia, because those are the first words I’ve ever written about misophonia and I doubt that I could write better now about my first impressions.
Before I post my message, I just want to say that I feel a bit weird now, because my current feelings stopped me from this just a minute job of copying the message. I kind of feel a bit weird now. This is a blog and someone will read it.
Am I ready to tell tho whole world about me and misophonia? Noooo!
I’m really not ready.
But I also know that this is the better way for dealing with misophonia. It certainly is my first public way of dealing with it.
I’m not asking for you to understand how I feel. There are just a few of people who will understand and those few people are worthy of all this Misophonia writing.
So, with that said, here is a copy of my message:
I can’t thank you enough for providing me this information. I feel so relieved now, knowing that I’m not the only person in the world that is been so raged by those sounds.
I’ve been reading the whole morning about misophonia and similar experiences as mine.
This “thing” caused many fights and problems with my family and friends.
I have never slept 8 hours without being woken up by sound of someone’s breathing. When I lived with my parents I used to wake my father in the middle of the night because he was snoring even though he slept on the other side of apartment. I was sleeping with a pillow on my head for years and wearing earplugs ( but after few years they caused me problems with my ears so I had to drop them). Now my hand is always firmly attached to my ears when I’m sleeping.
It’s not uncommon for me to go in a different room in the middle of the night to sleep because my husband snores sometimes or even breath loudly.
I don’t eat with certain people. Can’t stand noises, their body and jar movements, I can see all with my peripheral vision. There are times I can’t avoid eating with them and I feel I’ll go nuts in a second. Especially when those people are: my mother, father, grandfather, brothers, friends…well almost everyone.
I have two brothers. I told them about misophonia and they reaction was: So it’s not us? We fought so many times over my lack of patient with sounds they produce…
Problems with sleeping, eating… I can’t write enough… sneezing few times, yawning, chewing, chewing gym, breathing loudly or even when someone have problems to breath clearly, when someone catches cold and change their voice among else…
Can’t believe that for the first time in my life I actually tell this to someone who understand! Still can’t believe this is happening and that I found out about misophonia on a photography forum and that I’m not the only one.”
I got Leonore’s permission to post her reply on my message.
“I know how you feel!
I’m really really glad this has helped you. I remember when I first found the website. It wasn’t long ago – maybe a year or so. I just kept thinking that there had to be some reason why I was getting so angry. I mean, it’s one thing to get a little grossed out at someone chewing with their mouth open, but why would I get so angry? It didn’t make sense. I am not happy when I can’t think of a rational reason for something, so of course I started to google I found the website and was amazed when everything I read applied to me. Sometimes you sort of fit a description, but it doesn’t all add up, or can be explained through other means. But this was different. I could have written it myself!
Even the ways of coping – yes, running away or avoiding situations gives the most complete relief, or putting my earphones on and drowning noises out with music. But I realized I’d also been imitating noises to take the ‘sting’ away. Certain voices on commercials drive me crazy, and I find the only way I can deal with it without slamming the tv off or changing the channel is to say the exact words at the exact time. I don’t know why it helps, but it does.
I’ve run out of stores while trying to shop because one person was chomping gum so loud that I could hear it all over the store. It was either run or punch someone in the face, and I really don’t want to go to jail. Making me eat with other inmates??? Torture!
I almost didn’t write that message. In fact, I put my hands on the keyboard with the intention of writing something else, but suddenly my fingers were typing out the misophonia problem I have. In the back of my mind, I thought maybe someone else will recognize this and we could keep each other company “
Just to say again, Leonore, I can’t thank you enough!
She was one of the people I memorized first in that forum because she was good at analyzing photos and giving critique. It seemed to me that we have something more then photography in common and it turned out that we do.
Later, when she mentioned Mispohonia (I explained that here) we started to write each other. She was a great help and I’m really glad I got to know her.
She is A Modern Day Dinosaur