I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days now but somehow I couldn’t find time to do it. So, I hope I’ll have the time to write it now. I’l post it even if I manage to write just two sentences
RH commented on Repetition post “… All my triggers have one thing in common, they are predictable. In terms of music, one thing I love about the RHCP is that their lyrics are random and to be honest I don’t understand half of them…
Today I had an argument with the wife because she was ‘predictably’ using the blinkers for every single turn on the way to taking our daughter to gymnastics. The tick tock sound drove me nuts and the fact that it seemed unnecessary at every turn made it worse. Maybe if I can somehow make things unpredictable I’d not be bothered by them, but then I’d probably be arrested instead ” RH, may I say your first name here instead of initials?
First of, we need more funny people talking about Miso…
Second, we need lots of funny people talking about Miso…
Predictability really is one of the factors that influence on the way how we respond to triggers. Knowing what will happen in a minute will just increase anxiety we feel in the moment when triggers are happening. Instead of helping in facing the triggers in a much better way, their sure certainty just make them worse.
I haven’t said anything new for anyone. It’s the way we humans respond to anything, not just Miso related. If I know that I’m going to be faced with a severe and risky surgery, the time between knowing that it will happen and actually happening will just increase my worries about the surgery. If I’m faced with an urgent surgery that needs to happen right at this moment, I wouldn’t have the time to spend on that much worrying about what will happen in a minute.
Getting to know people means getting to know how they act in certain situation and makes it possible for you to predict their behavior. If that behavior involves triggers then you’ll become tense even before hearing/seeing triggers. Just see again what RH wrote about blinkers.
Speaking of spouses… My husband developed a habit of drinking a glass of water right before he goes to sleep. That’s a repetitive action and is happening every night. I know for sure that he’ll be doing that tonight, and tomorrow night, and the night after etc.. The moment I recognize that he’s going to the kitchen I’m already nervous and uncomfortable even before I hear water flowing from the tap.
For me, dishes tingling also represent predictions and I experience them in two different ways.
Those sounds aren’t triggers for me, because I really don’t react on them when it’s about let’s say, someone washing the dishes… I’m aware of “dish washing” and I don’t mind them tingling. Sometimes even I find those sounds pleasing because they remind me of my childhood. Winter, me napping a bit in the cozy kitchen and my mother washing the dishes.
However, those tingling sounds become extremely uncomfortable when they mean “preparing to eat”, arranging table, and doing all of the activities that are meant for “eating”. In this instance I know what those sounds represent. They represent “eating” and I know what I’m gonna be faced with … so I’m already tense.
I have a regular meeting every Monday. First few months were “Ok, it’s time to go to the meeting” After, it was “Oh God, another *my boss is burping uncontrollably all the time* meeting”. Even if I’m in a good mood, and I usually am, I just can’t stop expecting when the next burp will happen, because I know it will.
We all can name hundreds of things that are predictable in our daily life. The main problem with Miso is that, I think, predictability doesn’t help in its case, it just makes it worse.
Considering everything that I’ve just said, I could say here also that, yes, I’m deeply against any exposure therapy for trying to cure Miso. I am very well aware of benefits of that therapy when it’s about something else, but with Miso it’s simply no-no for me.
Every problem I had/have or encounter/ed, every trauma I’ve been trough, every unwanted psychological reaction I cured with facing the facts, situations, feelings, sensations and everything involved in mentioned. This approach requires a great strength of will, objectivity, a bit of psychology and a bit knowledge about lots of other things. Miso and facing triggers even when you’re well aware that they’re coming, as a way of curing Miso, is just not a part of any equation I have “installed in my system”.
I don’t know is this necessary but I’ll repeat, everything I write here is just and only my opinion and experience. You’re welcome to agree or disagree, that way we’ll be able to learn from each other.